Friday, January 31, 2014

O's Doppelganger

"Young man, I need to ask you a question."

"Yes Ma'am?" I am not going to lie, as I turned to look at the customer, I did a double take. Her voice, the way she stood there—the resemblance was uncanny.

"I really love this sideboard, it would match my dining set perfectly. I know it's on sale, but I do see some nicks in it. Is there anyway I can get an additional discount?"

" Ma'am that piece is distressed intentionally. You can tell by the fact the finish on it covers all the nicks and chips in the wood."


"If the nicks showed raw, untreated wood underneath, then it would have been actually damaged."

"Thank you. You have been so helpful. Really. Thank you."

Now then—read this exchange again and insert Oprah Winfrey's voice for the customer. Shazaam! Instant uncanny moment at work.  That lady was channeling the Daytime Power Diva like Shirley MacLaine channels God: Badly. I really tried to be extra helpful just in case she decided to tip me with a new car. But alas, she was not the real McCoy.

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