These are snatches of actual conversations people have felt comfortable saying out loud, in the store, while on the phone. Enjoy:
"Then she did it! She made a crusty shank!"
"Then I tol' my Mom she messed up real good. She can't ever be in our lives anymore. It's over. I don' even kurr."
"You'll never guess what! Lisa brought a male stripper into the women's locker room at the tennis club."
"An Suriously...thu way she tawlks! It's so HILLBILLY!"
"Girl. Girl. Girl, now I understand all that, but see you knew already that I had a girlfriend, and now you wants ta go and give me trouble?"
"Yeah, I'm not a fan of demons right now. I don't think they are the best creatures."
"Look, I had no choice, and I still got three years!"