Monday, March 17, 2014

You Ain't My Momma!

She was really chatty, and friendly—the way that makes you put up your guard and think "This middle-aged woman lives alone with lots and lots of cats." We both smiled and chatted as I rang up the few, large items that she had placed on my counter.

"Your total is $24.95 Ma'am"

"Oh honey I have more than that. It's down here in my shopping cart. Unless of course, you just want me to have it for free?"

"Yeah, I probably can't help you there," I said smiling "but nice try."

"Oh Honey, Sweety, can do it... We won't tell anyone" as she spoke she moved closer and closer to me. I had a wall to my back; I wasn't going anywhere. "You can help me out right baby?" She reached out—AND CUPPED MY FACE IN HER HANDS!

I kid you not, she nearly ate my fist.

I pulled my head away."I think I would prefer to keep my job."
I was borderline hostel at that point. Nobody has cupped my face in their hands since I was a boy, and I didn't even like my Momma doing it! Is personal space dead to some people?

"Well, then if you really think so," she said smiling, completely obliviously to my discomfort."Do you have children?" Not are you married? Or seeing someone? Or, do you like older women?


"Aaaah, well then..." She sounded disappointed. She paid for her purchase, took her things and wished me a good day. Well—as a matter of fact it had been a good one. Let's just pretend this never happened shall we?

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